“Wanna see what I got?” (breaks out the gas mask bong before they can answer)

A phrase that often accompanies a mischievous smile and a hand placed carefully behind the back to conceal a prize, just BTW. I looked up from my phone to see my boyfriend walking in triumphantly, holding up a bag with a gas mask bong in it.

I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing when guys get excited about shopping. But I’m always suspicious when they do. So when he asked me to guess what he got? I probably named off things like, “stuff for our fish tanks” or “a new smoking piece” (which technically I was correct), but I will tell you that the last thing I expected him to do was to pull out a smoking gas mask piece.

Honestly, at first, I was a little underwhelmed. Because like… it looks like a bald cap. It looks like it would be difficult to breathe with that strapped to your face. In my mind, this piece probably cost him an ungodly amount of money (because of the local smokes shops propensity to jack prices sky high.)

Actually the more I thought about it, the scarier that sounded.

Before I could stop myself, I blurted out: “I WANNA TRY IT!”

As soon as the words left my mouth I began to become even shakier. “Why am I doing this to myself??” I wondered. I have this tendency to steer into things that scare me. Who knows why. I just know, the next thing that I knew was that I was being trapped in a layer of bad-smelling silicone and peering out two steamy eyes holes at my boyfriend. He had a big ole goofy smile on his face.

What’s the Verdict on a Gas Mask Bong Hit?

“How is it?” He asked enthusiastically.

Every time I breathed, the silicone sucked tighter around my face and the suffocation feeling grew stronger with every attempted breath. Ripping the gas mask bong off my face, my eyes were wide and glassy with tears, my heart beat rapidly.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. “I think I might be a little claustrophobic.” I finished with a shaky laugh as I attempted to put the mask back on my face. However, immediately my chest convulsed and I gasped for air instinctively.

After a few more attempts to get comfortable I finally was able to keep the mask on my face for about 15-25 seconds. It was long enough to get a solid hit. It was strange. The worst part of smoking out of this piece was the adjustment period when you first put it on.

After that? It’s literally as easy as breathing calmly. (Pro tip: Close your eyes when you’re drawing out the smoke.) It’s actually pretty cool and a neat piece to bring out when friends are over. Guaranteed for laughs and to get everyone super stoned.

Lmao, Pictured above is our friend taking his first gas mask hit. If you look closely at the lighter, you’ll notice that the tip of the flame is pointing a little higher than the actual bowl itself. My boyfriend and I are accustomed to glass pieces. With glass pieces, you don’t really have to be particularly careful about how you light your bowls.

This piece was plastic and I actually managed to photograph my boyfriend burning a hole in his piece. We ended up patching it up with some pink rainbow unicorn duct tape which actually complemented the piece quite nicely. Something about fitting the “stoner motif.”